bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
