you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
