ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
