It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
