): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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