so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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