I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
