you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
