Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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