he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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