You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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