Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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