so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
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