Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
