If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
