dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
