i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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