i jhust puked up my retainher.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize