I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
