I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
