I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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