UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
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I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
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I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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