East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
now i know why i became what i already was.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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