The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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