Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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