you guys were way drunker than both of me
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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