Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
