And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
are you so shy because you have an std?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Randomize
