My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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