i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
