i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
