I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Come share oat with me in your robe
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
