Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Welp...herpes.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
tell me about the fingering
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