i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
