i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
