butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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