I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
we have officially lost it.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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