The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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