Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
