I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize