Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
