Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
