You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
