drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
