i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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