its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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