put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
