Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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