I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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