are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
