I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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