McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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