please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
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I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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