Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
