How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
