she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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