I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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