so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
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I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
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Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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