What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
