Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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