I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
