Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
