I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
