Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.

Fav 49 1184 5894
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(937): View more from Ohio

There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.

Fav 28 17230 1872
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(519): View more from Ontario

I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer

Fav 11 2972 1033
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.

Fav 11 2344 1244
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(316): View more from Kansas

Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...

Fav 16 2374 919
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(607): View more from New York

Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.

Fav 3 1182 704
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(248): View more from Michigan

she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant

Fav 2 653 1658
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(973): View more from New Jersey

thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies

Fav 0 55 4
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(301): View more from Maryland

Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?

(301): View more from Maryland

PS: I think I'm in love

(301): View more from Maryland

Ability to walk tomorrow tbd

Fav 0 99 6
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