Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
