So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
