so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
