i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
